24 Feb Firing Your Fairy Godmother & Claim Your Own ‘Happily Ever After’
Cinderella called me.
No - really. Ok, well she could have been, and for purposes of this writing she will remain so as she has been my client now for a couple of months.
Radhanath Swami, the esteemed author, community builder once said “The vast majority of people – burdened by the expectations of others – are living a lie.” The stats echo His Swami-ness too: 80% of us aren’t happy in our work, over 50% of us aren’t working in our chosen field of study, and over half of all marriages are failing!
This was exactly why Cinderella was reaching out to me.
She ‘had everything’ but was feeling like she had nothing. She felt empty – a real, walking shell of that bright-eyed step-child she’d been. Even with a Wicked Stepmother and all those evil stepsisters, the back breaking work she’d had cleaning up after everyone – she realized she’d been happy then. Way back then. Happier than she certainly was now. Blissfully happy!
Mind you, she was calling me from her glass tower office where she held a prestigious and seemingly rewarding career, no doubt from a desk adorned with pictures of her Sweet Prince and her little prince and princess standing merrily in front of their castle in the burbs. At day’s end, she’d march her killer glass heels with the rouge souls through her kingdom, to retrieve her sexy pumpkin carriage – with all the right horses and detailing from the office valet. Ah, Cinderella indeed seemed to have it all!
However, Cinderella recounted long school days in university, pining away with her hometown friends, about how good, the good life would be for them. They would pour over all the magazines, check out all the social media pins, posts, grams and more, about the latest in pumpkin carriages, glass slippers, and all the trappings that come with a perfectly poised fairy tale, ‘happily ever after’ existence.
Loving family, friends, teachers and more had introduced her to their favourite fairy godmother: The Mother Of Happily Ever After. She was the one who had helped her get to this place, but now she was lost.
I know this gal - The Mother Of Happily Ever After - very well. I was introduced to her too by well-intentioned, well-meaning and very loving influences in my own life. Many of you probably were too.
And don’t get me wrong – she is a very nice gal. She is well-loved by all the other godmothers. She still is by far, THE most popular godmother in the room – chosen for 90% of all projects and wishes.
Yet, she has also become, well, (how do I put this delicately?) – she has become the ‘elephant in the room.’ I mean, all the other godmothers know, that The Mother Of Happily Ever After’s magic, just isn’t working like it used to. She means well, for sure. And they all talk of how hard she tries at it.
Still – there have been millions who have used her services – and failed at the things in life they wanted.
Oh – you hadn’t heard that yet either eh? Well, don’t feel so bad – you’re not alone.
Cinderella hadn’t heard it either and was now at her wit’s end! She didn’t know what to do – she was so upset with how things were going, yet she didn’t want to let go The Mother Of Happily Ever After. She really hates to let go of people and things. Especially well-meaning ones.
She wanted to know what she should do now. She was lost. She’d followed her godmother’s advice to the letter, and despite having a lot of things, a lot of things people would think she should be blissfully fulfilled with, she still felt like she was missing something.
I asked her if she had talked to Elsa lately (Elsa was another client of mine who had actually introduced Cinderella to me.) She said that yes, just prior to Elsa’s ski trip and that she seemed far happier than she’d been since she could remember.
“Let it go” I said to Cinderella.
“What?” she asked me. “I don’t understand – let what go?”
“Let go of this godmother, let go of your pursuits of what you THINK should make you happy and rather go find what really does make you, Cinderella, happy. NOT what others think it should be. That’s what I taught Elsa too – and how to find it – which is why she and her sister Anna are off on a surprise ski trip in Aspen! They’re finding her fun again!”
“Look Cinderella, I know you really love your fairy godmother – she is a lovely, lovely lady, but let’s face it – her magic is old, it’s super tired, and well, used up. She isn’t getting you anywhere like you really want – oh sure you’ve got great stuff, but not what really makes YOU happy for you! It’s time. It’s time to find you again.”
“But...’ she started ‘she’s come so highly recommended, and I mean, everyone else is using her? How can she not be the right one for me?”
“Well, I’m told she had hired a freakin FANTABULOUS PR agency – I mean even Bill Gates couldn’t afford this group! Obviously - they are well worth their weight in gold! Besides, when have YOU Cinderella been one to ever follow the crowd?!
“Just remember Elsa and LET IT GO Cinderella! It’s time to start livin for you for once and for all!”
Here are 3 Magic Keys I told her she could use to get started….
1. Let It Go – Let go of old ideas of how Happily Ever After has to be and that it’s the ONLY way there! It’s YOUR life – so you have the right to create your own happiness for you! Let go of guilt for feeling like you haven’t the right to want more out of your life for you! Let it go Sexy Pants!
2. Fail A Lot – Start saying yes to things in your life and yes, fail at them. Try things on. Taste things. Meet new people. Do new things. Do old things. Discover YOU again – what you like, and what you don’t. For you - for once and for all!
3. Follow Your Bliss – When you discover things that make you happy, follow them – deep dive into them further with more of them, broader scope of them. Find ways to explore the nuances of them and then add more fun ways to incorporate them into your everyday.
Seriously, when 90+% are doing things the way that society tells us to do things and yet are STILL going to our deathbeds unsatisfied with our lives...we need to revisit the fairytales we’ve been living and create our own magic in our lives!
Here’s your wand back Sunshine – go make some magic in your life!